First off, please don’t introduce yourself as Dr so and so. Being a doctor isn’t a big deal when everyone else is one.
Remember those biochemistry lectures in first year? Nope, me neither. And you never will.
What about that time you spent four hours sweating in that dingy little clinic room trying not to get in people’s way just so you could get that damn piece of paper signed? No, I don’t think you learnt much that day either. But the signing pretence will continue when you’re a doctor.
You will not know fear until you get your first bleep. And you’re alone. And it’s after 5pm. How do you turn this damn thing off?!
Potassium’s the one you should care about if it goes up too high, right?
Damn I wish I’d paid attention when we’d learnt to catheterise those pieces of pointy plastic. And why do I need two gloves?
The shift from days to nights is hard. The shift from a busy hospital filled with people getting in your way to one with just you and that patient who keeps trying to die is bliss (a kind of).
One of the most important things you’ll learn this year: the act of looking busy when someone looks like they want something from you. The art is not to overdo it. Remember, you want to look competent, not inept (even if you feel that way).
Brush up on your ECG skills now. Or don’t. Either way, you’ll still freak out the first time you get handed an ECG along with the words ‘he’s got chest pain.’ Well, there’s definitely a pulse.
Remember the crap you spewed in your medical interview? Something about wanting to help people and to be there for others and how getting a Silver D of E meant you would be the best doctor ever. I don’t remember it either. But if you do, it’ll soon get kicked out of you this year. Trust me on this one.
Oh, and you thought consultants terrified you when you were a med student? Wait until you have to post-take with them. Yeah, I thought the right base of the lung looked hazy on that chest x-ray too.. Dunno why it says UTI in the diagnosis box.
Prescribing a drug gets old real quick. Its learning when not to prescribe which is the difficult bit.
This year will be the worst year of your life. Or maybe it’ll be the best. To be honest, it’ll probably just be average. Those cheers at graduation will die away soon enough once you enter the decrepit, concrete prison that is the doctors accommodation. Medical staffing will know where to find you now. Beware.
Wards will no longer entice fear within your heart. Nurses will look like angels (I swear some of them really are). Radiologists will look like traffic jams.. Down the motorway… when you need to get to an exam… and you really need to pee.
But whatever your fears and your worries, whatever your skills or lack of, no matter where in the country you go or how many lives you don’t save, remember; this is just one step of a journey. And things will get better. (Or maybe they won’t).
